Worldbuilding 9: how should my characters speak?
Magazine
Your world is constructed: you have a comprehensive setting, a cast of characters (human and/or otherwise), and a plot ready to launch. You come to the first lines of dialogue in the story; how do your characters speak? In this article I'll look at some useful strategies, and some of the pitfalls, involved in fantasy dialogue.
The classic fantasy setting is mediaeval in design; technology is basic, the weapons of choice are swords and spears rather than ray-guns and rockets, characters dress, behave and speak in a way that fits the setting. Right on cue, a main character opens the dialogue:
‘Verily, Sirrah, thy quest is ordained. Heaven forfend the very gods would make impediment of thy desires.'
Hmm, something is not right here. The author may argue, rightly to some extent, that the language used here is authentic; it is possible, even likely, that such a construction might occur in period literature.
Unfortunately, this line is largely incomprehensible to anyone lacking a degree in mediaeval studies. Sacrificing understanding for notional authenticity may be noble but it is not a tactic destined to win the reader's sympathy.
Equally, an author who wishes to avoid the trap of drowning the reader in obscure language may opt for something more contemporary in structure and feel:
‘Bro, do your thing. The gods are like, whatever, you get me?'
This, though it looks very different, is actually the same species of mistake; the language is too closely tied to a specific period and culture rather than the story. The difference here is that, while it may be more easily comprehensible (at least to a segment of the potential audience) it has no connection to the setting.
Thus we have established a couple of principles: the language characters speak must communicate easily to the reader; and it must feel natural in the setting. More to the point, these principles exist in balance; swing too far in one or other direction and you risk losing readers. So how do you go about striking the right balance?
The first thing to bear in mind (I didn't see this mentioned very often in online advice, which surprised me somewhat) is that you are, properly speaking, translating the dialogue. Unless your project is particularly niche, the characters do not speak English. However, unless, like Tolkien, you enjoy inventing languages, the language the reader hears is English.
This is both an opportunity and a problem. An opportunity because it allows you some leeway; and a problem because you want to give the reader the flavour of the language the characters speak. You need to choose a mode of English that the reader accepts and that reveals the nature of the original language and the culture that gives rise to it.
I think the best way to render speech, in these circumstances, is to make it timeless. That is to say, choose words and constructions that are common and natural in English but not tied to a specific period. If you need to inflect the language (to reflect, say, differences in status or origin) then use the contrast between formal and informal language to make this clear.
In our imaginary opening line, for instance, you might choose between formal (because it is spoken by a social superior, or inferior, or in a formal setting):
‘Your quest is righteous, and the gods condone it. They will not impede you.'
Or informal (because it's spoken by a social equal):
‘You're god-favoured, lad. They'll not stop you.'
That last line, you have probably noticed, carries a few hints that the speaker (or the community they come from) has a characteristic way of speaking.
This, I think, is how you can best render both the familiarity of dialogue (this is what one would expect characters to say) and the strangeness of it (they don't speak like my neighbours). And here I've added a couple of features that may be useful in your dialogue strategy.
First, the grammar is informal. Both verb phrases feature contractions; this is a big hint to the reader that the characters are friends and moreover they are not from society's elite. It also carries the resonance of a regional dialect; often, giving dialogue a geographical distance from the reader allows them to see it as remote in time too. Secondly, note the adjective phrase: god-favoured. This is a construction that occurs regularly in early English, the compound adjective; it hints at archaism without sounding ancient in itself.
Little details of this kind, rather than wholesale invention, are usually all you require. In fact, if you adopt this subtle approach, the reader will do much of the work for you. All four versions of our dialogue line, whatever you think of their quality, paint a picture in the reader's mind. The word choices and sentence structure suggest accents and intonations. That's all the reader needs to both get the drift of your intentions and place the characters in context.
Another useful tool is a regularly repeated phrase. English is full of little phrases that we use all the time: like I say; don't you think; you're right; I don't think so; you get me. Consider inventing, or reusing, such a phrase to distinguish a particular accent or speech community. Here is a brief list of phrases that all say the same thing:
That's the good truth
There's truth in your words
True, aye
As you say
This is known (for Game of Thrones fans)
If characters use one or other phrase of this type regularly, they signal their belonging and they offer the reader a hook to hang their perceptions on.
Belonging, one might say, is the nub of this process; if it sticks out like a sore thumb it's probably wrong. If it fits seamlessly, it's probably right.
When he isn't editing, Noel Rooney writes a regular column for Fortean Times magazine, and wilfully obscure poetry. He lives in South London with his family and rather too many animals.
Worldbuilding 1: character names in fantasy novels
Worldbuilding 2: the basics of writing fantasy fiction
Worldbuilding 3: geography and physical location
