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David Armstrong

author of How Not to Write a Novel: Confessions of a Midlist Author by David Armstrong

How not to serial 11

This is the eleventh excerpt from David Armstrong's wry and entertaining How not to Write a Novel: Confessions of a Midlist Author

11. Vanity and (Self) Publishing

'From the moment I picked it up, until the moment I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.'

Groucho Marx  Read more

© David Armstrong 2016-16

How not to serial 12

This is the twelfth and final excerpt from David Armstrong's wry and entertaining How not to Write a Novel: Confessions of a Midlist Author

11. Waiting

'Life is a horizontal fall.'

Jean Cocteau  Read more

© David Armstrong 2016-16

How not to serial 8

This is the eighth excerpt from David Armstrong's wry and entertaining How not to Write a Novel: Confessions of a Midlist Author

8.  Names

'No, Groucho is not my real name. I'm breaking it in for a friend.'  Read more

© David Armstrong 2016-16

How not to serial 9

This is the ninth excerpt from David Armstrong's wry and entertaining How not to Write a Novel: Confessions of a Midlist Author

9. Reading Aloud

'She reads at such a pace, ' she explained; 'and when I asked her where she had learnt to read so quickly, she replied, "On the screens at cinemas. "        Ronald Firbank

   Read more

© David Armstrong 2016-16

How not to serial 10

This is the tenth excerpt from David Armstrong's wry and entertaining How not to Write a Novel: Confessions of a Midlist Author

10. Slush Pile

‘The uncomplimentary name given to the vast quantity of unsolicited material continually delivered to publishing offices. '

Gordon Wells  Read more

© David Armstrong 2016-16

How not to serial 5

This is the fifth excerpt from David Armstrong's wry and entertaining How not to Write a Novel: Confessions of a Midlist Author

5. Discipline

But even though most of us can't produce a book in a couple of months, there's a lot to be said for getting the first draft out quickly. It's not at all unusual to be beset with doubts about just what it is you're doing.

If you can get your first draft down in a: few weeks you are much less likely to be overwhelmed by, and give into, these doubts.  Read more

© David Armstrong 2016-16

How not to serial 6

This is the sixth excerpt from David Armstrong's wry and entertaining How not to Write a Novel: Confessions of a Midlist Author

6. Discipline - and inspiration

If you, really are a writer, you'll be like the' person who' plays squash or football because that's what he loves to do. Same with the writing: it's often hard, but it's often great too. It really is; it's about as good as it gets. David Beckham gets paid millions for playing for Manchester United.  Read more

© David Armstrong 2016-16

How not to serial 7

This is the seventh excerpt from David Armstrong's wry and entertaining How not to Write a Novel: Confessions of a Midlist Author

7. How to ... books

There are any number of books on the market that claim to be able to tell you how to write a bestseller. I know quite a few writers, including some who have written bestsellers.  Read more

© David Armstrong 2016-16

How not to serial 3

This is the third excerpt from David Armstrong's wry and entertaining How not to Write a Novel: Confessions of a Midlist Author

3. Agents

Most reputable agents submit books to editors that they know personally, and so if you get a bona fide agent to represent you, one thing, at least, is pretty certain: your book will be read by the publisher relatively quickly.  Read more

© David Armstrong 2016-16

How not to serial 4

This is the fourth excerpt from David Armstrong's wry and entertaining How not to Write a Novel: Confessions of a Midlist Author

4. Bookshops

'to the big bookshop in NottingHill …extremely depressed by the number of books in the shop and left immediately. ' Simon Gray

 

One of the pleasures of being a writer, surely, has to be a visit to the bookshop? Like an athlete at the gym, the car salesman on his windy lot, this is, after all, our home from home.  Read more

© David Armstrong 2016-16
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Linked items...

29 June 2020 - What's new

June 2020
  • 'Like any social media platform, the more you use Twitter the more you will get out of it. So keeping your account as active as possible - i.e. tweeting as often as possible - is perhaps the most valuable tip of all. But that raises a common anti-Twitter excuse: "Oh, I wouldn't know what to talk about...
  Read more

Why and How Writers Should Embrace Twitter

29 June 2020

Like any social media platform, the more you use Twitter the more you will get out of it. So keeping your account as active as possible-i.e. tweeting as often as possible-is perhaps the most valuable tip of all. But that raises a common anti-Twitter excuse: "Oh, I wouldn't know what to talk about..."
  Read more

‘Books say: she did this because life says: she did this. Books are where things are explained to you; life is where things aren't. I'm not surprised some people prefer books. Books make sense of life. The only problem is that the lives they make sense of are other people's lives, never your own,'

— Julian Barnes

22 June 2020 - What's new

June 2020
  • 'The demands that are made of women can be ferocious, but the demands made of men can be equally tough. I don't know what it is to be a boy. I have a lot of male friends and my best friend when I was nine was a boy, but there is an extra imaginative leap you have to make, I know intricately what it means to be a girl and I don't know who gets to say whether a character is real.
  Read more