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David Armstrong

author of How Not to Write a Novel: Confessions of a Midlist Author by David Armstrong

How not to serial 11

This is the eleventh excerpt from David Armstrong's wry and entertaining How not to Write a Novel: Confessions of a Midlist Author

11. Vanity and (Self) Publishing

'From the moment I picked it up, until the moment I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.'

Groucho Marx  Read more

© David Armstrong 2016-16

How not to serial 12

This is the twelfth and final excerpt from David Armstrong's wry and entertaining How not to Write a Novel: Confessions of a Midlist Author

11. Waiting

'Life is a horizontal fall.'

Jean Cocteau  Read more

© David Armstrong 2016-16

How not to serial 8

This is the eighth excerpt from David Armstrong's wry and entertaining How not to Write a Novel: Confessions of a Midlist Author

8.  Names

'No, Groucho is not my real name. I'm breaking it in for a friend.'  Read more

© David Armstrong 2016-16

How not to serial 9

This is the ninth excerpt from David Armstrong's wry and entertaining How not to Write a Novel: Confessions of a Midlist Author

9. Reading Aloud

'She reads at such a pace, ' she explained; 'and when I asked her where she had learnt to read so quickly, she replied, "On the screens at cinemas. "        Ronald Firbank

   Read more

© David Armstrong 2016-16

How not to serial 10

This is the tenth excerpt from David Armstrong's wry and entertaining How not to Write a Novel: Confessions of a Midlist Author

10. Slush Pile

‘The uncomplimentary name given to the vast quantity of unsolicited material continually delivered to publishing offices. '

Gordon Wells  Read more

© David Armstrong 2016-16

How not to serial 5

This is the fifth excerpt from David Armstrong's wry and entertaining How not to Write a Novel: Confessions of a Midlist Author

5. Discipline

But even though most of us can't produce a book in a couple of months, there's a lot to be said for getting the first draft out quickly. It's not at all unusual to be beset with doubts about just what it is you're doing.

If you can get your first draft down in a: few weeks you are much less likely to be overwhelmed by, and give into, these doubts.  Read more

© David Armstrong 2016-16

How not to serial 6

This is the sixth excerpt from David Armstrong's wry and entertaining How not to Write a Novel: Confessions of a Midlist Author

6. Discipline - and inspiration

If you, really are a writer, you'll be like the' person who' plays squash or football because that's what he loves to do. Same with the writing: it's often hard, but it's often great too. It really is; it's about as good as it gets. David Beckham gets paid millions for playing for Manchester United.  Read more

© David Armstrong 2016-16

How not to serial 7

This is the seventh excerpt from David Armstrong's wry and entertaining How not to Write a Novel: Confessions of a Midlist Author

7. How to ... books

There are any number of books on the market that claim to be able to tell you how to write a bestseller. I know quite a few writers, including some who have written bestsellers.  Read more

© David Armstrong 2016-16

How not to serial 3

This is the third excerpt from David Armstrong's wry and entertaining How not to Write a Novel: Confessions of a Midlist Author

3. Agents

Most reputable agents submit books to editors that they know personally, and so if you get a bona fide agent to represent you, one thing, at least, is pretty certain: your book will be read by the publisher relatively quickly.  Read more

© David Armstrong 2016-16

How not to serial 4

This is the fourth excerpt from David Armstrong's wry and entertaining How not to Write a Novel: Confessions of a Midlist Author

4. Bookshops

'to the big bookshop in NottingHill …extremely depressed by the number of books in the shop and left immediately. ' Simon Gray

 

One of the pleasures of being a writer, surely, has to be a visit to the bookshop? Like an athlete at the gym, the car salesman on his windy lot, this is, after all, our home from home.  Read more

© David Armstrong 2016-16
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Linked items...

'Not all writing careers end in disappointment'

19 January 2021

‘My father was a playwright so I grew up with reverence for writing. The sound of his typewriter clacking was one I grew to love. What I didn't know was how disappointed he was by the failure of his work to reach the West End. Later, I realised not all writing careers end in disappointment, and it was worth trying to make mine a success...  Read more

'No author dislikes to be edited as much as he dislikes not to be published.'

— Russell Lynes

4 January 2021 - What's new

January 2021
  • ‘The thing I like about novels is that they are a more forgiving form. You can make missteps. It's harder to write a really good short story - I'm more aware of the flaws in my short stories.
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The 2021 International Book and Pamphlet Competition

Information

Closing date: 
1 March 2021
Entry: 
Open internationally. Entry fee £28, £25 to subscribers to The North
Prize: 
Publication by Smith|Doorstop Books; a share of £2,000 cash; a launch reading; publication in the North magazine; book vouchers from Inpress Books

The 2021 International Book & Pamphlet Competition is now open for entries

Judged by Daljit Nagra & Pascale Petit

DEADLINE: last post on Monday 1st March 2021, or midnight on Monday 1st March 2021 for online entrants.

ENTRY FEE: £28, or £25 for North subscribers, Friends of the Poetry Business and members of the Poetry Society.  Read more

'People have many cruel expectations from writers. People expect novelists to live on a hill with three kids and a spouse, people expect children's story writers to never have sex, and people expect all great poets to be dead. And these are all very difficult expectations to fulfill, I think.'

— C. JoyBell C.

'I have to know where I'm going'

4 January 2021

‘When I'm putting together a novel, I leave all the doors and windows open so the characters can come in and just as easily leave. I don't take notes. Once I start writing things down, I feel like I'm nailing the story in place. When I rely on my faulty memory, the pieces are free to move.  Read more