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David Armstrong

author of How Not to Write a Novel: Confessions of a Midlist Author by David Armstrong

How not to serial 11

This is the eleventh excerpt from David Armstrong's wry and entertaining How not to Write a Novel: Confessions of a Midlist Author

11. Vanity and (Self) Publishing

'From the moment I picked it up, until the moment I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.'

Groucho Marx  Read more

© David Armstrong 2016-16

How not to serial 12

This is the twelfth and final excerpt from David Armstrong's wry and entertaining How not to Write a Novel: Confessions of a Midlist Author

11. Waiting

'Life is a horizontal fall.'

Jean Cocteau  Read more

© David Armstrong 2016-16

How not to serial 8

This is the eighth excerpt from David Armstrong's wry and entertaining How not to Write a Novel: Confessions of a Midlist Author

8.  Names

'No, Groucho is not my real name. I'm breaking it in for a friend.'  Read more

© David Armstrong 2016-16

How not to serial 9

This is the ninth excerpt from David Armstrong's wry and entertaining How not to Write a Novel: Confessions of a Midlist Author

9. Reading Aloud

'She reads at such a pace, ' she explained; 'and when I asked her where she had learnt to read so quickly, she replied, "On the screens at cinemas. "        Ronald Firbank

   Read more

© David Armstrong 2016-16

How not to serial 10

This is the tenth excerpt from David Armstrong's wry and entertaining How not to Write a Novel: Confessions of a Midlist Author

10. Slush Pile

‘The uncomplimentary name given to the vast quantity of unsolicited material continually delivered to publishing offices. '

Gordon Wells  Read more

© David Armstrong 2016-16

How not to serial 5

This is the fifth excerpt from David Armstrong's wry and entertaining How not to Write a Novel: Confessions of a Midlist Author

5. Discipline

But even though most of us can't produce a book in a couple of months, there's a lot to be said for getting the first draft out quickly. It's not at all unusual to be beset with doubts about just what it is you're doing.

If you can get your first draft down in a: few weeks you are much less likely to be overwhelmed by, and give into, these doubts.  Read more

© David Armstrong 2016-16

How not to serial 6

This is the sixth excerpt from David Armstrong's wry and entertaining How not to Write a Novel: Confessions of a Midlist Author

6. Discipline - and inspiration

If you, really are a writer, you'll be like the' person who' plays squash or football because that's what he loves to do. Same with the writing: it's often hard, but it's often great too. It really is; it's about as good as it gets. David Beckham gets paid millions for playing for Manchester United.  Read more

© David Armstrong 2016-16

How not to serial 7

This is the seventh excerpt from David Armstrong's wry and entertaining How not to Write a Novel: Confessions of a Midlist Author

7. How to ... books

There are any number of books on the market that claim to be able to tell you how to write a bestseller. I know quite a few writers, including some who have written bestsellers.  Read more

© David Armstrong 2016-16

How not to serial 3

This is the third excerpt from David Armstrong's wry and entertaining How not to Write a Novel: Confessions of a Midlist Author

3. Agents

Most reputable agents submit books to editors that they know personally, and so if you get a bona fide agent to represent you, one thing, at least, is pretty certain: your book will be read by the publisher relatively quickly.  Read more

© David Armstrong 2016-16

How not to serial 4

This is the fourth excerpt from David Armstrong's wry and entertaining How not to Write a Novel: Confessions of a Midlist Author

4. Bookshops

'to the big bookshop in NottingHill …extremely depressed by the number of books in the shop and left immediately. ' Simon Gray

 

One of the pleasures of being a writer, surely, has to be a visit to the bookshop? Like an athlete at the gym, the car salesman on his windy lot, this is, after all, our home from home.  Read more

© David Armstrong 2016-16
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It's no good starting out by thinking one is a heaven-born genius

5 December 2022

‘If you like to write for yourself only, that is a different matter-you can make it any length, and write it in any way you wish; but then you will probably have to be content with the pleasure alone of having written it. It's no good starting out by thinking one is a heaven-born genius - some people are, but very few. No, one is a tradesman-a tradesman in a good honest trade.  Read more